Love. What is love? Does it even exist anymore? As i grow older i notice the changes in people. Theres no more honesty, loyalty, love and whatever comes between. I've loved but now a days I have to admit that I'm afraid to love. Afraid to get hurt whether it a man, close friend, or family. Don't get me wrong I love my family to death and nothing will ever be able to change that. But u still have to becareful. Isn't that crazy???...

A little something. I can tell u that I've truly been in lve once in my life. He was my everything, the man i thought would be the father of my children, my husband. I did say i thought right?!? I've never felt that feeling before NEVER!!! Now i wish i never did feel like that. He ended up hurting me. Of course u all know when a man hurts you its by doing something really fucked up. He's done fucked up things in the past and i was able to deal with it and move on, but this time that shit was hurting. I thought i was going to die, kill, go crazy. I lovd him. But the worst part is not only he hurt me but he did it with someone very close to me. NOw tell me WHERES THE LOVE????? Two people that in my mind would be part of my wedding. The groom and one of the brides maids. lol crazy man...

I've moved to jersey about 2 and half yrs ago. As much as i dislike the polution, the feins, the crazy drivers i have to let u know that man in jersey know th worth of a woman with class, personality and ambition. U don't believe me right?? I know i wouldn't either. Everytime i go back to montreal i get disgusted. I don't know what happened to the men and the women. Let me tell you something ladies. RESPECT urself no matter how much bullshit you've been through. No matter how angry u are at men. Be a woman. Carry urseld with worth. U know what i think the only reason why men are the way they are is because we settle for less. If u don't get it. We give them love and what do they give us in return BULLSHIT. And we accept that y? Because we love them. But what about us? What the things that we wish would could get from a man? Another thing we have to work on.Ladies if u know a guy has a woman inhis life leave him alone. Whatever goes arond comes around. I know u don't just want half of a man u want him as a whole. His not yours leave him alone. Remember that the same way u got him is the same way you might lose him. It's not worth it don't let yourself get hurt. Yours will come. As long as u respect yourself. 

Back in the days, Men use to have to work hard to get a woman.In the present world we live in woman give themselves out to fast. They get caught up in relationship. So the man thinks that he has u and can do anything.He has to know that there's a chance that he could lose if he does something stupd. And if he does kick him to the curb. Don't just talk the talk walk the walk... Keep the relationship interested.

i find that fucked up that we're always abl to love andshow them love but now we can't it seems that once u show them love that's when you're going to lose them. They start taking advantage of your love. And that fucks everything up for the next man coming.

Right i'm living good life. I'm now talking to someone a sweetheart i'm telling you. He's so old fashion.He'll come pick me up and wait for me outside of his car. Always makes sure that i'm alright, A old school slow jam comes on and he's ready to take my hand and ask me for a danse... He's something new something i've never hd before.I always dealt with gangbangers, hustlers, good for nothing type of brother.Let me tell u they're the one that gives u the most love. A book i recommend for all the ladies "Thugs and the wome who love them" ( if u do get that book let me know what u think). Back to what i was saying. This guy is what i want in man. Last night we went out chilled had a good tim but, i saw one of my friend talk to him n igot angry real angry i started thinking about what my ex had done to me and it messed me up.I have s much anger in me. Some say i'm making a big deal out of it. But i think i just made a big deal out of the relationship i had. They just don't know how much they've hurt. I would always hear girls say that they've been heart broken but i never knew what it felt like. It hurts... I almost told the guy that i didn't want to talk to him. Why right? If that one man wasn't able to see what i was worth what makes me think this one won't. It's hard to trust now. 

but I've learned to always be cautious. Because the people u give love to  are the first one tofuck u over. (Except for family). Family is the only place you'll be sure to get unconditional love from.  Anyways i have much more to say but unfortunatly many things to do. So until my next journal

* Remember ladies do ot settle for less. We were made on this earth to be treated like queens. Like that Keisha cole song " Let It Go" If he can't love you the way u want le him go. If he really loves u he'll do anything to make u happy.

*Remember gentlemen Don't ever forget what you have. If you're happy why do things that will fuck u up later. Let the fairy tale become a true story. Stop following your boys. Think about yourself and what makes u happy.

*Respect is th key to everything u wish for in life

GOD BLESS YOU

Angie