Until this day I thought the worst sentence I could hear from a woman was ýwe have to talkýý But no! The worst sentence of them all is actually: ýI really like you, but as a friend.ý Meaning that for her you are the nicest guy in the world, the one that better understands her, the most dedicated one, but she will never go out with you. She goes out with some bozo/idiot that only wants to have sex with her. But one thing is for sure when this bozo/idiot does something bad, and he will. Youýre the one she comes to for advice. Its like going to a work interview and being told: ýYou are the perfect person for the job, you have the best CV, you are the better preparedý but we are not going to hire you. We are going to hire some incompetent dude. We only ask you one thing, that when this incompetent fucks up and be sure he will, that we can call you, so you can get us out of the mess he got us intoý.
Now I ask: What did I do wrong? We went to the movies, laughed spent hours in coffee shopsý.. And after how many coffees did we became good friends? After five? Maybe six? One coffee less and we might have ended up in bed.
To women, a friend works like a Tampax: you can go to the pool with it; you can ride a horse; danceý., but the only thing you canýt do is have sex.
I donýt think that friendship between men and women exist, if it did it would be known of. What happens is, that when she says she likes you has a friend, she means just that.
But not for you. For you it means that some night both of you are laying on the beach, after a few drinks, the moon is full, the planets are aligned and a meteorite threatens the planetý you would definitely go to bed with her!!!! So you swallow.

And you never loose hope. She is going out with Joe? Thatýs going to end.
And when it does, you hit her with the consolation technique: ýDonýt cry, Joe was an idiot. You deserve better, someone that understands you, someone thatýs there when you need them, someone not too tall, dark hair, not incredibly pretty, thatýs named Johnýý like ME!!!!!!!

The irony in this is that she thinks you have a ýsuper specialý relationship; she can sleep in the same bed with you without something happening.
What The Fuck!!!! So its ýsuper specialý and nothing happens??
Some day after a party you end up staying behind and help her clean up, like you ALLWAYS do, and when you finish she says:
-UH! Wow its late, why donýt you sleep over?
-And were do I sleep?
- In my bed.
Immediately your legs start shaking. ýIs this going to be my night, the planets are aligned!ý
After a few minutes you understand that itýs not the planets that are aligned, because, since you have such a ýsuper specialý relation sheýs in her underwear and then you think: ýIým going to have to strip to my boxers, and with all these planets in lineýý
And has soon as you get into bed she slaps you in the ass turns the other way, says ýgood nightý, and falls asleep!
ýWhat The Fuck, how can she fall asleep that fast not even a small prayer?ý
You are in bed with the girl of your dreams. At first you donýt even dream of moving, so you donýt end up touching something. You know that at that moment if there was a contest no one could beat you, you are that hottest men on the planet and how the night is longý.. Questions start popping in you mind: ýtouching a breast with a shoulder? Is it being a bad friend? What if the breast touches me?ý
But after a few hours you only ask one thing: ýAm I really such a LOOSER?ý
You canýt believe you are in the same bed and nothing is going to happen.
You think that at some point sheýs going to turn around and say:
ý Come on you silly, you suffered enough. Take me.
Oh and how you sufferý no wonder, you have all your blood accumulated in one place.
But the humiliation isnýt over yet. At 7am someone rings the door bell:
-Ah! Itýs Joe!
-Joe? Didnýt he dump you?
-Ill tell you everything later. Iým in a hurry. Oh I forgot to tell you that Joe is bringing his dog. And since we are going to the beach I told him that he couldnýt leave the dog in better hands that in yours. Because, youýre a great friend! Uh?! You donýt look so good, did you sleep well?
So you end up with the dog who by the way really is Men best FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!